“> > A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
> >was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
> >Propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to “Dad.”
> > With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling
> >hands and read the letter.
> >
> > Dear Dad:
> > It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
> >Elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
> >you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I
> >knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, Tattoos,
> >tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
> >But it’s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.
> >
> > Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
> >woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
> >having many more children.
> >
> > Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really
> >hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
> >people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will
> >pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She
> >deserves it. Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of
> >myself.
> >
> > Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
> >know your grandchildren.
> >
> > Love, Your Son John
> >
> > PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just
> >wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report
> >card that’s in my center desk drawer.
> >
> > I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.”