“While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of
it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a
good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that
before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.
Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good
time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter
returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never
have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would
be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren
land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I
don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland
full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were
campaigning…… Today you voted.”

A friend sent me an email with a link to this site – http://www.bushspeech.org/. I started typing out a speech that I’d love for Bush to give, but it took a while because the site only allows you to type in words that he’s actually spoken before. Somehow, I was forced to use phrases that ended up sounding like pure nonsense. I guess that’s just par for the course.

“WORLD VIEW

If we shrink the earth’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.

There would be

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from The Western Hemisphere, both North and South America
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be nonwhite
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
80 would live in substandard housing
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world’s wealth and all 6 would be from the United States
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 should be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for both acceptance, understanding and education become glaringly apparent.”

While I appreciate the political jabs from a Republican friend (yes, there are a few semi-decent Republicans out there), this concept struck me as brilliant. I immediately sent a “Rumor” headline article to my brother-in-law and uncle to let the word get out about their porn star past.

Try it yourself:
Make a rumor headline and send it today >>